Alternatively, like the blank canvas-y looking plaster wall, I've been tagged.

Or like the twelve-year old n00b who ignores the team's cries of "Find cover! They've got stickies!", I've been tagged.

Or...on second thought, let's not overuse my hilarious wit. I'll just do the thing I've been tagged like the second-in-command of a relay team for.

1. Your Name: Legally changed to Sergeant IStalkKirby Tiberius Awesomeburg M.D. IV.

2. Age: 18

3. Single or Taken: They're coming to take me away, uh-huh.

4. Favourite Film/Director: Uwe Boll. Get it? It's funny because he's terrible. Anyway, let's go for Empire Strikes Back. Safe choice. And for director, I'd have to say Trey Parker and Matt Stone can make puppets undergo mass hysteria quite humourously indeed.

5. Favourite Song/Album/Band/Artist: Song? Several choices that rotate among each other for many an age. In fact, that'll be the general tone for most of the 'favorite' questions. Deep Purple's Soldier of Fortune, Twisted Sister's Burn in Hell, Buckethead's Soothsayer, Shinedown's Second Chance, Lostprophets' Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja, Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun, Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, Colin Hay's Overkill...so many.

Album? Avenged Sevenfold's self-titled album. If only for the reactions A Little Piece of Heaven can evoke. Add that to the list up there, as a matter of fact.

Band? A cappella groups Here Comes Treble (led by Andy Bernard) or The Worthless Peons (led by Ted Buckland). If those two shows ever cross over, I demand a face-off.

Artist? Well, I don't see how it's related, but wasn't that picture of the sunflowers that one guy did just spiffy?

6. Favourite Book/Author: George Orwell's 1984, Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Stephen King's Pet Semetary, and of course one of those rascally Harry Potters has to be there. Stephen King wins favorite author after he completely pwned Stephanie Meyer and the entire Twilight fanbase.

7. Dirty or Clean (Mentally? Physically? It's up to you): I want to be mentally cleaner after worrying about the implications of being asked if I'm dirty over the internet.

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: None.

9. Introvert or extrovert?: Rotate between the two to mess with people....okay, I don't know.

10. What's your philosophy on life?: "No matter how bad things are, they can't be any better, they can't be any worse, because that's just the way things fucking are, and you better learn to deal with it, Nancy. Quit your bitching." - paraphrased from Church of RvB.

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? Half-full. But said in that whiny "but mooooom, it's only _half_ full!!!" way. Ambigious, I know.

12. Arrogant or meek?: Um, have a read at the rest of this entry and I'll get right back to you.

13. What is your comfort food?: Whatever I eat when I'm hungry generally does comfort the hunger.

14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?: Slacking off.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: Here's a hint: have you ever seen Kelsey Grammer and I in the same room together? It all makes sense now, I know.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?: I assume all the expected, cliche "I want elemental powers that would result in my death as I never wished for knowledge of the physics that make them impossible!" wishes are out too? Well, I'd wish for the complete rights to a small business branch, perfect knowledge of corporate tactics, and enough charisma to launch a hostile takeover without anybody even knowing that the growing business is ruling the world and usurping money from everyone and anyone.

...Too megalomaniacal?

17. If we can get together soon, what would you want us to do?: Depends on who's asking the question. If you are, say, the distributor of the wishes from the above question, I'd want you to make with the granting. If you, however, are the hair-lipped custodian of a mental hospital, I'd suggest you look for your cadavers in another castle there, sport.

18. Which country is your spiritual home?: My...mind? Low understanding of the New Age jargon, sue me. Not literally, former Woodstockians, put down the entirely pacifist-y lawsuit.

19. What is your biggest weakness?: If you flip me over, you can attack my weak point for massive damage. Alternatively, you could kill me. Dying will put my resistance right down.

20. Do you think I'm a good person?: You asked me how dirty I was on the internet.

21. What was your favourite subject at school?: Being locked in a small room to play guitar with my weird camp friend who lives near a bar and must have inhaled some strange barpatron DNA evidence at one point. Oh wait, that's present tense, you wanted past, I'm sorry.

22. Describe your accent: Auscottican, I believe that's the term it was referred to circa. 2005 or 2006 or so.

23. What's your zodiac sign?: Leo.

24. What do you wear to sleep?: An exhausted expression and a pocket full of dreams, what the hell kind of question is that?

25. Trousers or skirts?: Do you mean on me or what? Assuming you do, neither. Shorts are what all true warriors strive for.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol?: Two or three units of alcohol spread out over a short period of time like a day or something is beneficial for your health. Cigarettes have no redeeming factors whatsoever apart from manufacturing false stress relief. Ask again?

27. If I'll come over your place (or country), where would you take me? Depends who's asking yet again there. Since you asked me if I'm dirty and what I wear in bed, my first choice would be "to the courts".

I tag you. You are now tagged, like the hypochondriac who was posthumously right for a change.